


i am (we are)

by mizael



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Canon Compliant, Mind Meld, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6989005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizael/pseuds/mizael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Odd Eyes is here with him, a part of him, but Yuuya feels as though there are more pieces of himself. That even if he can see the whole picture, there are just a few strays missing, like fishing for the last pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.</p><p>He isn't <i>whole</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i am (we are)

『私』- _watashi_ \- I

Dueling, for his father, meant things like _entertainment_ and _smiles_ and the feeling of accomplishment at achieving such a feat with his opponent even if he lost. Dueling, for his father, meant things like _helping_ and _having fun_ : ideals which Yuuya would find joy in at the age of six, mind still full of wonder and imagination, not yet tainted by _your father’s a coward_ and _no, he’ll come! he’ll come!_

So, in turn, dueling for Yuuya meant the same things. It meant _entertainment_ and _smiles_ and _having fun_. Sometimes it became _to settle an argument_ , or _to prove who’s better_. But then it became _to prove I’m worth something_ , and Yuuya still foolishly believed then that it was for _entertainment_ and _smiles_ even if he knew otherwise.

But at the age of six, Yuuya did not care about such things like _proving himself worthy_ because the concept didn’t exist to him. Dueling by his father’s ideals already made him worthy, and later when Yuuya is older and looks back on this, he thinks of how simple being a child must have been. He thinks about wanting to return to carefree days where nothing was ever wrong, instead of facing the reality of ruins and war and a crumbling Heartland.

At the age of six, Yuuya kept winning.

And something told him, even through all his father’s congratulations and his mother’s smiles, that this was as it is meant to be.

Him, winning.

 _Victory_.

* * *

 『我』- _ware_ \- I (“one’s self”)

He doesn’t remember when or whom he received Odd Eyes from, only that it has been in his deck for as long as he could remember having one. His mother doesn’t know either, and she had built his deck with him. Yuuya doesn’t question it for most of his life, thinking it not worth his time to mull over when bygones are bygones, and for the most part, Odd Eyes is such a small itch in the back of his mind. When someone asks him _where did you get it_ , he just shrugs and says he doesn’t recall, which isn’t lying.

Somehow, without anyone ever telling him, he knows it’s one-of-a-kind.

He affectionately calls it his _ace_ ; the one monster that could turn the tide of battle for him as soon as it is on the field. His win record isn’t as straight anymore, because he’s started dueling _to prove he’s worth something_ , and the hesitations upon putting Odd Eyes in danger come full force and knock his record down to a startling fifty-fifty. Yuuya isn’t proud of it (who would be?), but _it’s better than Odd Eyes being destroyed_ , which he can’t even stomach the thought of.

He doesn’t know why he has such a startling reaction to Odd Eyes’ destruction. Something tells him that his dragon hasn’t yet come to its full power yet, and when it does he’ll be an opponent to be feared, but until then he has to keep it safe.

 _It’s a part of you_ , something whispers. _It_ is  _you._

He understands—

(Yuuya had always felt like _Odd Eyes Dragon_ seemed too short of a name, that Odd Eyes deserved a longer, more fitting name, but he hadn’t dwelled on it, much like he hadn’t dwelled on the card’s origins. It isn’t until he’s backed into a corner and the man his father was supposed to duel sneers and taunts at him that he screams in his head _I have to win, I have to win, I_ must _win_ that something changes.)

 _—subconsciously_ , but—

(Something in him sparks, and that spark creates a flame, until Yuuya is _burning_ and seeing a flashing image of a high kingdom in ruins and destruction for naught but a split second that’s gone too quickly for him to process. In the next moment, Yuuya sees _Odd Eyes Dragon_ become _Odd Eyes Pendulum Dragon_ and he doesn’t dwell on it much longer, those whispers of chaos and destruction far in his mind and memory; far in time.)

—not really. He understands it’s a part of him, Odd Eyes, but not _why_. And for the first time, he starts to question _why_ and figures out that he knows next to nothing about his own monster. There are nights where he lays awake thinking about it, tossing and turning, and he can see flashes of a world and time that’s fantastic enough to be _once upon a time_ and not believable.

But something feels wrong whenever he thinks about it.

 _I am—this one—is not whole_.

Odd Eyes is here with him, but Yuuya feels as though there are more pieces. That even if he can see the whole picture, there are just a few strays missing, like fishing for the last pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

He frowns, but he doesn’t ask more because he can’t find the answers.

* * *

 『我が』- _waga_ \- my, our

Dueling with Yuuto had been like a weird feeling of déjà vu, though not in the sense that Yuuya had felt like he had done this before—but like he had known Yuuto _before_. He can’t recall Yuuto’s face anywhere, and he’s sure he’d remember meeting someone with his own face, but no matter how hard Yuuya tries, he keeps drawing blanks. So, he doesn’t think too much on it when he picks up Sora’s duel from his sudden disappearance.

But when Odd Eyes is on the field, roaring—with? along? at?—Yuuto’s Dark Rebellion, the memory hits him like a freight train with all the pain condensed to the span of ten seconds. It knocks Yuuya off his feet and leaves him gasping for breath.

He sees that high kingdom again, much like when _Odd Eyes Dragon_ first became _Odd Eyes Pendulum Dragon_ , except this time there’s more to it than the ruins it had become. He felt fire in his mouth and the wanton need to destroy, but something else swirling inside him screaming at him to _protect_. _What was the difference_ , he’d ask himself. Destroying all that could destroy him in turn meant the same thing as protecting.

It’s gone as quickly as it came. Yuuya doesn’t remember much of it, but having Yuuto across from him, within reach, feels _right_ somehow. Something whispers that Yuuto needs to be closer, that Yuuto needs to come together with him again, and Yuuya doesn’t understand it.

He pushes it down to deal with later, because the outpour of smoke from the broken lamp post a couple feet away is more important.

Though, it whispers the same thing to him when the dust settles.

“Duels… with smiles…” Yuuto had said later, much, _much_ later, when their dragons had screamed themselves raw and the presence of a third piece made Yuuya almost want to cry in happiness, but Yuuya didn’t care too much about Yuuto’s words at that moment.

With Yuuto’s death, he had felt a piece of himself return.

 _(This one will become whole_.)

* * *

 『我等』- _warera_ \- we (to inferiors)

The abandoned subway station is cold and dark, but Yuuya feels a certain sort of affinity to it when he crashes inside on his motorcycle. It reminds him of his mother’s favorite hangout, of her adventures before he was conceived, of the woman she used to be before domestic life took her willingly into its arms. Sometimes he wonders if his mother regrets settling down like she did, but there’s always a certain spark in her eyes that reminds him that the woman his mother was, used to be, could have been, even, never really left.

But more than that, the dilapidated station reminds him of _home_.

Yuuya swallows, though, shakes his head and dismounts from his vehicle, jumping head-first into danger if it means he can protect those closest to him. The memory in his head—not Yuuto’s visions of Heartland, though he sees them sometimes, too, and feels a pain in his gut so foreign and strong that he could hurl—plays. It’s the memory of _destruction_ and _protection_ and _victory_ , because that’s what’s right. He’ll win. He has to. These are the people he must protect.

( _Destroy all that oppose you_.)

He doesn’t have it, though, the power to protect. He’s still missing. There are parts of him that are missing and gone and he _needs_ them, and then finally, _finally_ he can be who he was supposed to be and do what he was supposed to do. Until then, he needs to persevere.

But then—

( _I'm here. We’re here. We’re all here. Come back. Come back, come back, come back._ )

—he _sees_ it. Himself, standing across the way. He feels the motorcycle engine rev under his body vibrate violently with the threat to turn it on the onlookers and run them all over. He remembers that the riding suit he’s wearing (it’s white) was a gift from a girl with green hair and amber eyes and the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen. He remembers wanting to protect that smile and then _failing_. He couldn’t do a thing to save her even when he had the chance—

( _Destroy,_ **_destroy_.** _Destroy all that threaten you_.)

—And then he sees himself, again, behind a large, purple, and grotesque monster with too many mouths and not enough prey. He feels the excitement and adrenaline rush in his veins, the smile on his face curved just slanted enough to be twisted. What did he want to protect, here? Academia? The Professor? The ideals of the ARC Area Project? This feeling of adrenaline in his veins? The way his heart continues to beat so loudly in his ears?

( _Eradicate it. Eradicate them_.)

—Heartland is gone, that much he knows. He knows because he failed in protecting it; he had tried so hard to repel the invaders and yet all of his work had been for nothing, in the end. The various schools across Heartland had been scattered into local resistances. It was a joke to call them the Resistance.

He failed to protect them, too, just like he failed to protect that girl with the green hair and amber eyes (Rin?), _but at least he could protect himself, right?_

Yuuya feels his head split in two with too many memories at once, all of them so jumbled in his head. He sees flashes of a life in the brightly colored Heartland streets, dueling with a laugh and a smile as he challenges someone again and again despite losing every single time. He sees life literally on the streets, living day to day like a survival test that he would pass every morning he could wake up, and the comforting smile and touch of a girl who was in the same situation as him. He sees a bright land with beautiful canals and crystals floating in the sky, the large castle of Academia awaiting him and settling into his bones that this is what he calls _home_ , at least for now.

He sees too much.

 _We will become one_.

His childhood friend was—Kurosaki Shun, and his younger sister with just as bright a smile as Rin. His mother—he never knew her, she left him at an orphanage when he was a child but he found family on the streets. His goals in life were—deriving the most amusement from every situation, to rise to the top. His school had been—Clover. No, he didn’t go to school. _No_ , he is the top student of Academia, the Professor’s most trusted agent.

_We have been waiting for our revival._

He sees the different parts of himself, the different pieces of himself scattered across the ruined subway station, and the different lives he has led in the time that he has been broken up.

 _The destruction, it’s home_.

He sees his kingdom.

 _It is better if they are destroyed by your own hands than those of invaders_. _It’s the best way to protect them_.

He sees _himself_ —

—and he feels whole again, for just that moment, in the cacophony of the dragons’ roars, the confused cries of those around him. He’s here, all of him. All of his scattered pieces have returned.

 _We are whole_.

**Author's Note:**

> the fic idea came after i finally caught up after like two months and noticed that the pronoun that the yuu4 used in ep92 was 『我等』, which is usually used like a royal "we" pronoun and i just had to stop and go "holy shit"
> 
> this is just... "holy shit" in a more explained form  
>  ~~i havent slept in 24 hours~~
> 
> please leave a comment?? ;A;


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